Back in 2007, Steve Yegge listed 10 technical resume tips for people applying for technical jobs. While his focus is programmers, his tips apply to IT staff and auditors, and anyone technical.
Even though the article is 7 year old as of this writing, it still has staying power. I’ve seen each of these tips ignored in countless resumes.
It’s a long article, but very helpful and funny.
While these tips were true in 2007, most of them ring even truer in today’s tough employment market.
I’ve added short comments after some of the tips.
Tip #1: Nobody cares about you
What you MUST delete from your resume.
Tip #2: Use Plain Text
Even though I’ve seen resumes get jumbled when they go through the scanner, it never stopped me from reviewing a resume. But it’s a good suggestion. I would still bring a formatted resume to an interview.
Tip #3: Check, please!
Spell check and fix errors. I’ve discard resumes with too many typos and bad grammar.
Tip #4: Avoid Weasel Words
Like participated.
Tip #5: Avoid Wank Words
Like architected.
Tip #6: Don’t be a Certified Loser
I disagree with his suggestion of removing certs from your resume. Those HR scanners ARE looking for certs, and without them, most companies will trash your resume. However, his other suggestion of avoiding the word “certified” deserves a read.
Tip #7: Don’t say “expert” unless you really mean it
Tip #8: Don’t tip your hand
Tip #9: Don’t bore us to death
Be short and sweet, and don’t state the obvious.
Tip #10: Don’t be a lying scumbag
Read Steve’s tips here.
See my other posts about employment, including interviewing auditors.
ITauditSecurity 
Good stuff in there! Thanks for sharing. That guy is pretty funny. Best line: “Or that really dumb guy who accidentally listed ‘work at IBM’ as the objective on his Amazon resume. Ha, ha! What a dork! Oh wait — that was me.”
I agree with your disagreement about mentioning certifications — most of them are a good sign that the applicant is serious about his/her field. I’ll definitely put a few of these suggestions to work.
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blair151,
Good to hear from you again.
Yeah, I like this guy’s writing style. Pretty funny. And informative.
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Straightforward and to the point, as it should be! This guy is hilarious and you both definitely know your stuff. I only wish that more people already knew these tricks.
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